Whistles and dings fail to drown out the cry of loneliness deep within the soul. Friends down the street are no use in a room that is empty and a mind that emphasizes each critique. Bumble matches and Tinder messages fail to offset the feeling of emptiness that is codependent to an inability to commit. Cycles are hard to break, and habits are hard to form, but Seth does not want to be alone.
Crosses formed through mindless swipes as the next girl offers something the other cannot. Bigger breasts and a half-hearted pick-up line out preforms the girl with a more beautiful face who loves to smoke, but each girl will get a text. Seth sends messages at a rate where time and attention are sacrificed just to find a warm body that might be willing to share the same couch with him, so neither party has to face the torment of being alone.
Humorous from an outsider's perspective, but impossible for the unperceptive, which makes Seth's pain all the more unbearable. He knows that each girl is on a path of heartbreak, but he cannot bear another second alone. Lust and sexual immorality grab their pamphlets, ready to catch Seth's attention once again to remind him how, if they can just have two minutes of his time, each will change his life.
Remorse plagues Seth's heart like food color in water as his soul starts to mourn the loss of another day full of potential. How did life come to a point where people are herded together under the veil of prospects only to be treated as property? Instead of facing that demon, Seth lines up another date with a woman who will listen to what he has to say despite caring little about what is actually said because caring for people is far less important than caring for themself. Nevertheless, Seth recognizes that both are simply signing a wavier to pretend to be interested only to find that both merely wanted a person to fill a gaping void whose depths seem endless until another suitor moves into their life. Sadly, not every person enters into negotiations aware of the contract they are signing, but the end will always be the same. A broken heart and a guilty conscience, but for Seth, life must go on.
Each woman nothing more than a casualty of selfish ambition cultivated from a heart shattered from a toxic relationship — human elevated to an idol, one woman poisoned Seth's life beyond repair. Changes made slowly to satisfy the desires of another; Seth slowly began to glorify horrifying passions to develop intimacy with a fantasy. Every second spent mesmerized by a woman masked in genuine interest to hide deep rooted manipulation. Arrogant stubbornness eradicated by a powerful desire to be loved led Seth to self-sacrifice every part of morality to merely be accepted by a girl whose true self was veiled in intoxicating beauty. As time peeled back the layers of fantasy that divided who the girl was and who she pretended to be, Seth fought forfeiting his love and perception of who he wanted her to be because he had already lost every piece of himself in an illusion. He knew this, but could not face the fact he gave up the deepest fabric of his being merely to be loved by an illusion, a wolf in sheep's clothing. But who was he to call a spade a spade? For even Seth could admit he did not live in a manner that coincided with the moralistic ideals that he propped up for his own glory. In a perplexing way, God humbled Seth and tossed down a trump card for good measure, a reminder that the idea God is replaceable is only acceptable in a temporary timeframe, but all will face the same humiliating fate. Now Seth stares blankly at a phone full of women that will be nothing more than a prayer of forgiveness and mark of regret as Seth picks at the scar that left him in pieces.
Tormented by his own desires, he wallows in self-pity. God showed his power, and Seth forfeited his birthright. Now, where is he to go? Back to the very idol that desecrates perfection or a God that, with humility, provides a resurrection? But how could Seth ever be made clean?
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